Upbeat message is a real tonic

IT IS strange that some of the saddest stories also happen to be the most uplifting. This is one - and it involves an ordinary, down-to-earth Yorkshire lass who battled through not just one type of cancer but three - as well as a bone disease which could have left her in a wheelchair for life.

In doing so, Mary Brennan made a curious discovery that, at the time, seemed to have passed the medical profession by. It was that when cancer strikes in a family, it is not necessarily the victim who suffers the most.

The biggest agony, she realised, was inflicted on the victim's family, condemned to watch a loved one struggle for life or a decent death whilst feeling totally helpless to intervene. What's more the cancer patient soon realises that he or she is putting the family under stress. And this adds a layer of deep guilt to the pain and distress the patient is already suffering from chemotherapy and radiation treatment.

"The treatment is pretty awful and goes on for month after month," Mary told me at her home in Kelbrook Road, Barnoldswick. "To add deep guilt to that really does make you feel really low. But I was lucky enough to survive - and decided I had to do something about it."

Thus was born Bosom Friends, the fast growing Barnoldswick-based support group for cancer patients and their families founded by Mary, and if this seems a pretty gloomy subject as Christmas approaches, let the name give you a clue. For Bosom Friends has a programme designed to help people share a few laughs amongst the inevitable tears. Even if this dreaded disease does end in death, it strives to put a smile on the victims' faces as they face up to the end.

The depths of this understanding - which I had not at all expected - put me in a quandary. I almost blurted out: "It sounds as though you are trying to make cancer fun."

Thankfully, I bit my tongue but still asked Mary much the same question in a more round about way.

She giggled - she giggles a lot does Mary Brennan, which also says a lot for her my own experience that if you can have a laugh, even for a few minutes, it gives your family and loved ones a great boost.

"In other words, it blots out that sense of guilt just for a short while. And when you may be approaching the end, every light-hearted minute is worth working for."

Mary, 57 next month and looking ten years younger despite her medical history, was born on her grandfather's farm near Oxenhope. When she was a young girl, her father found work in the Barlick textile industry, later at Rolls-Royce, and she went to convent school in Colne.

She went into a local mill and, aged 19, married fellow worker Angus - Gus to his mates - had a boy and a girl, Robin and Tina. They now have two grandchildren.

It was a traditional, hard working life in West Craven until, when the kids were teenagers, the first blow struck. Mary contracted a degenerative spinal disease which could have put her in a wheelchair for the rest of her days.

She battled through almost two years of treatment in and out of Airedale Hospital and, just when she thought she was on the mend, she found a bump under her armpit.

A few weeks later, another bump appeared in her breast. She had what every woman dreads, breast cancer, and there followed long periods of treatment both in Airedale and Cookridge cancer hospital in Leeds, including a partial mastectomy.

Then it was discovered that she also had another type of cancer, Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, so one period of treatment extended into another. And as if that were not enough, she then developed skin cancer on her leg and had to undergo yet another operation. All in all, she had been ill for the best part of ten years. And if the common belief is true that sick people can help cure themselves by sheer force of will, then Mary Brennan is a shining example.

In those long years in and out of hospital, she had had many hours to think. And more and more, she had come to realise that her family were suffering almost as much - perhaps even more - than she.

"Gus had to take many days off work to drive me around but never had a word of complaint," she murmured. "My poor daughter Tina was distraught for weeks on end. But unlike me, surrounded by doctors and nurses, they had no-one to turn for a chat, no understanding shoulder to cry on. That was the seed for Bosom Friends."

The charity now has some 40 active members and is fast spreading its activities throughout Craven and into Lancashire. Originally set up for breast cancer patients, it now helps local people deal with all forms of cancer, offering friendly counselling, not just to patients and their families but to the recently bereaved and victims of other fatal illnesses.

They do it with a smile and laughter, they say, is the best medicine. Unfortunately, it is not yet available on the NHS so Mary Brennan and her colleagues have it on tap, even for the darkest days. To repeat myself, the most uplifting stories often come from the saddest situations.  Well done.